This guest blog comes from Dating and Relationship Coach for Women Jonathon Aslay, who shares some very important dating tips and reminders. This is stuff that every woman should know and practice at all times.
Meeting and building quick rapport is so easy online and lately I’ve noticed that women all too often let their guard down, lose their common sense or abandon their self protection to a total stranger.
Reflecting back to when I was single and looking after my divorce, I’m shocked at how easily a woman WHO I DID NOT KNOW would invite me to her home (having never met me before) after a few chats via phone/email/text. It was kinda easy to WOO and WOW women on the phone and they not only thought me safe, they felt an almost unique connection with me.
Now I mostly would talk to moms, because as a dad, I thought them safe. So how did they know I was safe? Just because they read a profile and a few correspondences or shared one cocktail at a bar, they felt they knew me and felt comfortable. As a man who is an excellent communicator and emotionally connected, I was one of the most dangerous of daters. Because some women felt an instant chemistry and even a spiritual connection with me, as if they had known me all their life…“he’s different so he must be safe.” Well the good news is that I was and am safe and so are most guys. However, is it really worth taking the risk for the 1-2% who might be dangerous?
As your heart protector, here are some common sense safety tips when you think he’s different:
1, meet in a public place. There is safety in numbers and meeting for the first time in a restaurant or coffee shop would provide enough witnesses should the date turn sour. Never – and I mean never – meet a man at his home or even think of inviting him to your home until you really get to know him.
2, tell a friend about your date. Yes, tell a friend or family member the details about where you are meeting, give them his contact details like name and phone number and any other additional information you have about him. Check in with your friend during the date or ask your friend to call you during the date to let them know how you are doing. Besides, this can be used as an escape clause if you feel like the date isn’t going well: “Hey Jim, my friend needs me because of an emergency and we have to end the date.”
3, drive yourself to the date and drive home by yourself. Having your own wheels gives you control should the date go bad. The worst thing is to be reliant on somebody else for transportation as it gives them the control on how long you spend together and let’s face it, it’s safer to have your own car just in case.
4, stay sober. This may be obvious, but alcohol creates bad judgement and I have known too many women who have said yes to coming to my home after a few drinks. Now remember, I’m a safe guy and so are most; however, alcohol impairs our senses and the last thing you want to say in the morning is, “Why did I do that?”
Let’s face it, I was no angel when I began dating after my divorce and I operated on an “it’s all about me” strategy. My experiences and understanding the way men think and act has allowed me to share my wisdom to help women who are single and looking.
So my lesson today is to recognize that sometimes intuition can be confused by the chemical attraction or connection we feel for another person “as if we’ve known them all our life.” Common sense can be thrown out the window by believing it’s our inner voice talking. Safety is still safety and being safe ALL the time is a better bet than trusting your gut with someone you have never met, don’t ya think?
So there you have it, quick and easy safety tips for the first date meeting from an online connection. By the way, this works for offline connections too.